Say something about gay babies.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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