you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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