I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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