He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
