My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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