I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
