the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
