One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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