awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
