you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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