is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Me too!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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