Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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