I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
