okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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