you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
