you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
