Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
