TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ttyl tear gas
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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