never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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