i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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