it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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