Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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