We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
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