nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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