Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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