yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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