I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
