Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
