I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
