No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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