he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
