Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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