im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
