So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
