He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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