The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
why is half of my head shaved?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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