ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
