we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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