You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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