So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
