did you get engaged???
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
