I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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