you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
