Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
