your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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