Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
