I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
