R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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