Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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