I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I supernannyed him into submission
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
