She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We were destined to go to rehab together
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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