i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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