I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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