she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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