You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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