I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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