i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
