She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
