I just pynch a tree in the face
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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