summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
