Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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