Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
