I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
