im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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