Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
