He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
