Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
