Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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